Pitchin’ Ain’t Easy: Failed Contest Entry

I had fun making this 90 second video for First Bank—™s —œ$20,000 Elevator Pitch Business Video Contest.— Perhaps I had too much fun.

I—™d like to thank my wife for helping me put this entry together. Sadly, our submission, —œPitchin—™ Ain—™t Easy,— didn—™t make it past the first round of judging, which perplexed my mother. If the judging were left to Eileen Mioduski, well, let—™s just say I—™d be up twenty strong right now, swimming like Scrooge McDuck in a big ass vault of coinage. Eileen had some pretty choice words for those First Bank judges too—”words I dare not repeat on this blog.

Being a bigger man than my mother, I—™d like to say congrats to Colorado—™s winner, Fox Hollow Animal Hospital of Colorado.

I—™ll admit, it—™s probably a good thing Fox Hollow won, because I secretly planned on BLOWING those 20G—™s. Listen, it was hard for me to pack all of my killer PowerPoint and Keynote jokes into one 90 second video. I left a lot of meat on the bone. So, mid-production, I decided that if I win this stupid video contest, I—™m going to use the house money to help produce my full one hour special, —œBig Mike Tells ALL His Deck Jokes.—

Maybe the First Bank judges saw right through me.

But hey, if you—™ve read this far, and you work for HBO or the Apollo or something, I—™d love to talk. I will be here all week.

GOODNIGHT DENVER!